Thoughts on cynicism.
I was enjoying a nice evening with a college buddy of mine, catching up at a local dive bar. We wound up at my place, imbibing and ruminating on failed relationships, exciting prospective ones, and David Foster Wallace. My friend mentioned Wallace had written an excellent essay on the failing of cynicism and our increasingly self-referential society. I asked for elaboration and he continued to say Wallace was all for idealism, and I suppose in a way, commenting he continued to personally uphold it in his life. I paused and thought, “good for him”.
While we continued conversing, part of my mind shut out the idle chatter and ran off with the words about Wallace. I wondered just how truthful Wallace was with himself about his own idealism. My own long lost idealism ended when I suffered my first heartbreak, and gained further realizations about human nature. As a writer, I assume Wallace has tons of experience and input about human nature…hence, I find it hard to believe his idealism was rooted so firmly. Or, perhaps he found his own version. Either way, I sincerely hope he was content with it.
I consider myself cynical, a realist. I hesitate to say that it fulfills me, and I’m not stupid enough to completely block out the opposing point of view. I understand completely why a person would choose to embrace idealism on all fronts. It’s easy to assure yourself that human nature isn’t elastic (or at least it wont be in your reality), and that if you follow a certain set of rules for yourself, the universe will mold and bend around your viewpoint (because you have clearly controlled it so successfully) and things will more or less work out. Maybe they will, and if they have, I congratulate you.
I didn’t become cynical because of any real danger to my existence. Again, my reality is for the most part cushy. I was simply observant, and side-stepped any real disaster by learning from others’ mistakes. My cynicism comes from my personal knowledge of the human nature of my inner circle and their foibles.
In the end, it’s a lot easier to be cynical than it is to be idealistic. Society has become extremely forgiving and embraces it, so hey, why the fuck not right? The main problem with society’s turn for the cynical, is that they just might forget the other side exists. The more we sigh, “whatever…”, the more we forget that it really does hurt, and that we should embrace the pain, and learn from it. I often have to remind myself on a daily basis that just because someone is in my life who I care about deeply, it doesn’t mean they don’t and won’t continue to hurt me. Maybe the true way to combat cynicism is with more honesty. Because in the end, we all wear the mask that fits us more comfortably.
